Year of achievements..i hope

The year of oh nine definitely wasnt my favorite. I hadnt gotten anything acomplished, nothing exciting happened. It was surly a dud, things will be different in 2010. I mean it is a new decade and all, therefore a clean slate. This is my list, i am hoping to have everything crossed off on December 31, 2010.


1. Get my car fixed.  
2. Go bungee jumping and or sky diving.  
3. Get a new puppy. haha  
4. Do at least 3 forms of volunteer work.  
5. Vacation to either Chicago or NYC.  
6. Rekindle at least 2 old friendships
7.Have more time to myself.
8. Be an extra in at least one movie.
9. Start using only organic products.


Well, i thought of this idea a few days back. Im guessing i should have wrote it then. I had a more addictions for my list. That have now been forgotten, i will add them once i remember. 

Merry Christmas.

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. Not for the presents but for how wonderful it truly is. It amazes me how people with nothing still manage to be happy. I have decided to write Santa and ask, not for a digital camera or a barbie dream house, But just for the happiness i used to feel. I have found that my favorite christmas to date is when i had the chance to volunteer. I had a sense of pure happiness and i truly felt the power of Christmas.  So, this year i want nothing at all. I am just grateful to have my family and a couldnt ask for anything more. Although its not the same without Pa, Nana & Uncle Allen. I know they are watching over all of us.

Does anyone else wonder how much electric bills go up during December?

The hairspray epidemic.

I'm not the jealous type, never have been. But there has always been one thing that bothered me. Its the fact that my brother had the chance to grow up in the 80's. I love that era. The music, the ugly yet amazing clothing, the hideous yet interesting big hair, everything. I would have loved to look back at old photos to see how horrible i looked. But no, i had to be born at the end of it all. Now don't get my wrong, the 90's had its fair share of horrible fashion, which i did have my chance to experience. Its just not the same. But if i think about it the 90's did have the best toys and early morning television. So, I guess that could cancel out the wild hair and bright clothing. But if someone were to invent a time machine, my first venture would be one that consist of Wham and Paula Abdul albums.

You have my mind, I want your heart.

After six years i still find myself thinking of you. I still feel as if it ended wrong, as if you and i should be something. Anything. When you first left i would think maybe just maybe you felt the same and would come back. You didn't, and it hurt. I was young, but even then i knew there was more. Its not everyday that you connect with someone so much that both of your faces light up when you see each other. I never told anyone this, but my heart felt like it skipped 30 beats when i first saw you. I wish i would have made more of an effort and not waited until it was too late. I remember the day before the last, we sat up until 3am just talking about nothing at all. That day is one of my favorites. This is kind of lame, but i often find myself looking for you on myspace and facebook. I'm afraid of finding you though, what if its not the same? What if i spent all this time for nothing? I guess that's a road i will have to cross when i come to it. Until then i will remember you as the amazing person i fell the hardest for.

Come back

Blank, Empty, Shattered. Are the best ways to describe how you left me feeling.
I miss you, I need you, I'm hurting.