You've turned me into mush, im putty in your hands

I have so much to say about you, and to you. But the moment i start to write, nothing makes sense. I feel like those are the best relationships. If my words cant be put down, then you know im falling. Because writing is mine, its what i do, its part of who i am. When it comes to you, im lost, i feel like a little kid who cant speak. Nothing i say makes sense, and when it does. I feel as though i've lost my intelligence. Even know, writing this, it isnt my usual form. It's different, im unsure why though. You've turned me into mush, im putty in your hands. 

 I'm always dominant, not matter if its a man or woman who has my heart. But with you, its equal. With you, i get to feel like a girl, but not like im dating a guy. You make me want to wait for you. My body is aching to explore every inch of your body. I get butterflies at the thought of kissing you. You've changed me, you've made me discover love all over again. I've always said that its different with every relationship. But with you, its incredible, and its not even there yet. At this point i feel as though it would be very easy to fall in love with you. 

New Job.
Soon to be new apartment.
Same love, new meanings.
Everything seems to be coming around lately, which is exactly what i need at this point. After my mom passed away everything seemed to be going down hill. But its finally back to how it should be. I'm not going to lie, its a bit frightening leaving the place I have been for most of my life. But i'm ready for it, to move on, start over, clean slate, and new memories.

New Year, New Shit to Achieve!

• Focus more on Buddhism and my Spirituality 
• Save more money, for my trip. 
• Improve my over all health. 
• Get back into photography. 
• Work hard to get where i want to be. 
• Spend some quality time with my Mrs. <3 

I'm not sure what it is about 2011, but i just feel like its a good year for change. 

New year, Improved you :) 

Almost six months later, and you still give me butterflies.

 I feel as if my life is finally starting to fall together instead of apart. It started in April, well actually mid March. I had been friends with someone for almost a year, thats all it was. A friendship, what seemed to be a good one at the time. Then for some reason, in march we started talking a lot more, soon realizing we had so much in common that neither of use had known. It was quite odd, it made me rethink the friendship that we had before. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that i never realized how amazing this person was. After two or three weeks of almost 24 hours on the phone every day, i had realized that i started to develop feelings for her. I honestly did not want to admit it, i didn't want to believe i could fall for someone so far away. But i did. After a few days of her acting like she liked someone else, i got her to confess. I will admit, it was kind of funny... While she was telling me about "this girl" i was telling my friend about how she liked me and was making up a person instead of fessing up to it. It was pretty elementary, but it just made it that much better.  A week or so later, April 15th, 2010 to be exact she said "I would love to call you mine".  So, its five months later and i'm happier than ever. She truly is amazing and i couldn't ask for anyone better.


In other news, I recently started a new job. I love the people and the environment, if i could get more hours, it would honestly be perfect. Also, i will be starting school in october to be a dental assistant. My initial plan was to be a dental hygienist, but i couldn't find a school close enough, therefore i am doing the next best thing. So basically my life is exactly where i want it to be, and i couldn't be any happier.

I needed you, you left. You're back, but i cant. I refuse to let you hurt me all over again.

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there. 

- Bob Marley.